Every No Has a Yes

Isaac Newton taught us that “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” 


For many of us, saying "no" carries with it a negative connotation.  Even when we are using it in a positive way in our lives, we can feel the weight and sacrifice associated with it. 


What would happen if we took the time to see the "yes" in our "no"?  Would we be happier? More in sync with what we really want in life? Let's practice for a minute. 


No, I do not want dessert tonight. 
Yes, I am on my way to losing those 10 pounds and feeling great about myself again! 


No, I can't fit that in my schedule.
Yes, I get to enjoy my evening with my family!


No, I don't think this relationship is going to work out long-term.
Yes, it is worth waiting and finding that special someone who will be the best fit for me!


What is the opportunity on the other side of your no?  Go ahead... try it. 




  

First make your habit

"We first make our habits, and then our habits make us." John Dryden


You are who you have made yourself to be through repeated behaviors that have become second nature to you. You no longer have to think about it, you just do it. It's become a part of your personhood and identity. If you are like me, you have conflicting thoughts about that... in some ways I like it, and in other ways not so much. hmmm.


The good news is you can always make a new habit. Really, you can. 


One habit I'm working on this year to live my life more fully in sync is my attitude towards time. I have always had an inclination towards performance and achievement, which would lead me to be a big list-maker and schedule-keeper. While these are great tools, they are horrible task-masters. So, one habit I am working on diligently is my perspective with my to-do list and calendar, and not letting them drive me or determine my worth. They are simply the means to help me achieve my goals and live my purpose. 


As I make this one adjustment, who will I become? I can imagine I'll be a more patient and gracious person, and experience more fulfillment.


What is a habit you need in your life?

Who is in your life?

"No man is an island, entire of itself..."John Donne (1572-1631)


Last week I was given a work Sabbatical, and part of my assignment for the week was to attend another church. (Because I work at the Vineyard church I attend, my pastors wanted to give me the opportunity to get away and be refreshed in God's presence in a church service without having one single conversation about work.) It was a great service, complete with friendly greeters, good worship and an engaging sermon. However, as I stood to leave I sensed this void, which I quickly recognized as a longing for my friends. My church experience, as wonderful as it was, was simply incomplete without the hugs, smiles, conversations, and prayers with those I journey with through life. When I came back this Sunday, you know the first thing I did - ran up and started giving hugs to all my friends! I had two weeks to make up for!!


As you think about "living in sync" and the best life you can, it's essential for you to consider the people you surround yourself with. Whether it's at home [hello to all you singles who are dating and determining a life partner!], in your hobbies, at work, play, or serving. "Who" may be an even more important question for you to answer than "What".


A few of my amazing 'who' experiences lately:

• My friend, Katie - see photo above. This is a picture of our friendship "framed" at the Hope Bargain Center where we were volunteering our time sorting and pricing clothing. Katie is a constant source of encouragement in my life. She brings me great joy and is my very own chocolate angel hiding candy surprises when I least expect it. It is absolutely impossible to out-give Katie. 

• New friends, Janet & Grace. Both women I met through our Food Shelf Outreach Ministry at the Vineyard. Janet is completely blind and invited our team into her home when we were out delivering groceries. It was incredibly humbling and powerful to be welcomed into her life and to pray with her. Grace is homeless and has lived a really hard life. She drops by the church every so often "not sure why I keep coming here" she says, as she shares her story with me.  I make sure she is loved, prayed for, and leaves with a big bag of groceries. I am touched and changed in a real way by sharing these moments with hurting people.

• At work, my communications team. Tonight I gathered three talented people to help with a project I'm heading up. In less than an hour, we had a really good plan in place and all three ready and willing to take their role in accomplishing the goals at hand. Wow. I am blessed.  

Who are you making sure is in your life?

What's on the Other Side of the Window?

Hanauma Bay, Oahu

Ever get lost in living life?  Where you have this overriding feeling of "missing the forest for the trees"?  The busyness and daily activities have squelched the  zest you have for living, and everything begins to feel like work - even the stuff you normally enjoy.  These are the times for stepping back a moment and reflecting on the big picture again.  


I enjoyed reading this engaging little story with a big lesson from Eugene Peterson:   

     Imagine yourself moving into a house with a huge 

     picture window overlooking a grand view across a 

     wide expanse of water enclosed by a range of 

     snow-capped mountains. You have a ringside seat   

     before wild storms and cloud formations, the 

     entire spectrum of sun-illuminated colors in the  

     rocks and trees and wildflowers and water. You are 

     captivated by the view. Several times a day you interrupt your work and stand before 

     this window to take in the majesty and the beauty, thrilled with the botanical and 

     meteorological fireworks. One afternoon you notice some bird droppings on the window 

     glass, get a bucket of water and a towel, and clean it. A couple of days later a rain-storm 

     leaves the window streaked, and the bucket comes out again. Another day visitors come 

     with a tribe of small dirty-fingered children. The moment they leave you see all the 

     smudge-marks on the glass. They are hardly out the door before you have the bucket 

     out... Keeping that window clean develops into an obsessive-compulsive neurosis. You 

     accumulate ladders and buckets and squeegees. You construct a scaffolding both inside 

     and out to make it possible to get to all the difficult corners and heights. You have the 

     cleanest window in North America - but it's now been years since you looked through it. 

     You've become a Pharisee. (The Jesus Way, p 211).

Just as this home owner missed the whole purpose of the picture window, we too can miss what's on the other side of our 'windows'.  To do so, we become as empty and compulsive as the Pharisees in the Bible. We miss life, even when it's right there before our eyes. 

So, what's on the other side of the window for you today?  Stop squeegeeing, take a deep breath and enjoy the life you have been given.