What Language Do You Speak?

Yesterday, I had a brief interaction with a 3-year-old who was sizing me up as a potential friend. After I enthusiastically cheered on her ability to do a back roll off the couch, she turned and asked her mom a question; which was then interpreted to me, "Do you speak Spanish?" Unfortunately, beyond a few words, I don't. So in all honesty, I replied, "No". And that, my friends, was basically the end. Off she went to play on her own and with her mom. She clearly did not have the time nor energy to invest in a friend who didn't speak her language. 

Isn't this what we all want? Someone who speaks our language.

The challenge is, we don't get it. In God's vast wisdom and design, we find ourselves surrounded by people who don't speak our language in a myriad of ways... the opposite gender, someone of another generation, a different race, culture, religion, personality, background, and on and on it goes. The diversity is amazing and humbling. Yet frankly, at times, frustrating too. 

If we are not careful, we respond similarly to the 3-year-old and quickly end or stunt these relationships. Why is this? 

On some level, I think our initial human responses are to seek the path of least resistance.  When we experience a different accent, words, clothing, or approach to a situation, we interpret it as a barrier that will slow down and/or affect us getting what we want. Then, our drive for self preservation kicks in and we determine the best way to handle this barrier is by knocking it over, going around it, or simply turning around and going a different route. A lot of this happens on a subconscious level, as our brain searches for the best way to move forward.

And you know what? The processing is generally true. Most times, it will slow us down and affect us getting what we want.

Today, I want to pause here and ask - what is a better choice when our self preservation mode kicks in? When all we can see, think and hear is why our way is the right way and the best way as a matter of fact. When it feels like we don't have the time or energy to deal with this person today.  

Maybe we need to stop and realize that it is not all about us. Life, as we have been given, is the diversity and complexity we have in our relationships. And to live at our best is to embrace our differences as a gift to be received rather than a barrier to resist.

“We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond.” ― Gwendolyn Brooks

Maybe there is a new question we can ask... "What language do you speak?"

Living in sync with our best lives is learning how to get outside of ourselves and our neat little world of people who are easy to get along with and embracing a friendship with someone very different from us. It is about being courageous enough to learn to speak someone else's language and build the bridge to a relationship that will not be possible if we don't. This is a rich harvest that cannot be experienced any other way in life.

Today, I ask myself as I ask you... Who in your life is different from you? Where is there a barrier in understanding? Start there. Your life will be much the richer.