Yesterday I had the opportunity to hang out with a few 4th graders and hear the daily adventures of school lunch rooms, bus rides, and relationships. One boy relayed a story of when his younger sister ran on the bus, wrapped him up in a big hug and told him, "I love you." Much to his chagrin, teasing from the boys standing around began to fill his ears. He was mortified to be caught by his peers "loving his little sister".
An insightful adult sitting with us and hearing the story said, "Well, I think that's a good problem to have!"
Good problem? Those words hit the kids and took us down a path of processing that sounded like this:
How can there be such a thing?
A problem is something that needs fixed.
And if something needs fixed it is broken.
And if it's broken that is bad.
So, there can't be a good problem.
The two words don't go together.
The simplicity of this logic caused me to pause and wonder how many adults struggle with this same idea? I certainly have labeled my problems incorrectly at times. So, what does make a good problem?
Good problems stretch us. Beyond our comfort zone, our culture around us, and what we have accomplished so far - a good problem is an opportunity to grow into a new idea, stage, or skill set.
Good problems cause us to dig deep. A simple surface treatment of the situation is not enough - a good problem is an opportunity to look inside and ask the harder questions about our identity, values, and goals.
Good problems are defining. It is the time we decide our best yes and what we say no to - a good problem is a crossroads where you get to choose what your life will be.
Living your best life will most certainly include good problems. They are the Wheaties that make you strong to overcome resistance and challenges that arise throughout your life.
Here's to all of us and embracing our good problems!
Life is a series of starting points. From the most simple skills we learned early on - tying our shoes and brushing our teeth, to the more complex task of learning a musical instrument or sport, to making a presentation at work.
For everything we do, there is a starting point. Driven by need or desire, we take a first action step into the frontier of the unknown.
The starting point can be a fairly significant and emotional threshold. Some of our more risky first’s were accompanied by a blast of adrenaline and nervousness that has forever etched the event into our memory. Other first’s were less than motivating and maybe included groans, sigh’s and expressions like, “I can’t do this…” Either way, we had to push through to action in reaching our goal.
The launchpad of all starting points is raw grit and determination. “Just do it.”
At some point in the process of learning, we gain familiarity, comfort and skills to accomplish the goal. No longer do we need the extra time, deodorant, and pep talks to do it. We’re comfortable.
And then what? Most of us quit. Yep. The goal becomes the ending point, rather than the tipping point. Our accomplishments become a lounge chair rather than a launch pad. Our growth and development stagnates in the marsh of mediocrity. Yikes!
Reaching a tipping point is accessible to all of us. With intentionality, development, and a strong spirit, we can move our skills from good to great, amateur to accomplished. We can live a story of adventure, breakthrough, and innovation; rather than doing the 9-5 making a livin’ to bring home the bacon.
The launchpad of all tipping points is presence, technique and creativity. “Let’s see.”
The tipping point comes through an awareness of what is beyond the stated obvious. It’s the focus and intentionality of showing up day after day with innovative processes and creativity that drives it to be something different, something more complete than it was yesterday. It is attending to ideas, removing the barriers, and coaxing the birth of the new. It is a place where you are no longer the driver of whatever “it” is; but have transformed into the playful participant of something you love.
What’s the point for you? Whatever you love, it’s worth pushing it to the tipping point.
Have you ever read a book that you found yourself in the story? I experienced this in a deep way as I recently read The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd.
It is a story of suffering and persecution which turns into redemption and hope as two young women learn to love, find their voices, and fight for freedom. The experiences they have weave a beautiful tapestry of the Serenity Prayer:
-
- God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
- The courage to change the things I can,
- And the wisdom to know the difference.
The longer I live, the more I see people struggle in holding the tension between the polarized points of acceptance and change. All too often, it is one or the other as we grasp at making sense in life and having control. I admire the people who embrace wisdom and understand that it is a combination of both in most all of our experiences that bring the greatest good forth in our lives.
Living your best life is knowing when to surrender and accept; and when to be courageous and act. It is being able to keep a grip on both at the same time as we journey, grow, and relate to others.
How about you? How do you need to experience the power of the Serenity Prayer?
As you stand at the threshold of a New Year, consider:
- Where have I given up and let resignation into my life?
- Where have I allowed myself to become bitter and cut off a relationship?
- Where am I driven and afraid to really accept the truth?
- Where am I living 'all or nothing' and not holding the tension of both acceptance and change?
- Where are my blind spots?
May you find the same love, voice, and freedom awakened in your heart as you take the time to reflect and do the deep inner work in your life.
Let's live a deep, rich, awesome 2016.
