The Gift of Living Well

Vicki Knight and Jim Lamey

"God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well." – Voltaire

This is a very special story of compassion and courage and the gift of living well. May it spur you on to live your best life, however that looks for you. 

In her own words....




I was always going to be an organ donor, although the thought of living donation never crossed my mind until I met my son-in-law, Derek’s mom, Vicki. I knew Vicki had kidney disease and had to quit her job due to dialysis; however, I didn't know how bad she was until we were at a school concert together.

As we sat there, I listened to Vicki tell Derek that her sister and just been turned down to donate. She finished by saying she was on the transplant list for a kidney and just had to wait. How sad, I thought. I kept looking at her hold my youngest granddaughter and found myself wondering if I could do it.

After the concert, I asked Vicki if she wanted me to get tested to see if I could donate. A smile spread on her face as she said, “Yes, that would be awesome!” She gave me a phone number to call.

I left that evening and thought about it more. I talked to my daughter Sarajane about it and did my research. I prayed, and prayed; asking God to give me an answer. About four weeks later, the paper Vicki wrote the phone number on fell on the floor. I picked it up and thought, here’s my answer.

The next day, I called the transplant team. They were so happy I was willing to do this. The testing began to make sure I was physically healthy, as well as emotionally and financially able to be a donor. The most important test is the cross match test which determines if you are a match with the recipient. When I passed that test, we were all so happy. It was gonna happen. That’s when I knew I was really suppose to donate. It was so emotional realizing I was going to save a life.

Through all this, I had tremendous support. Sarajane was my biggest supporter. We would talk about it: the pro’s , the con’s, the what if’s. We also talked to Vicki. She made sure I knew that if I changed my mind she would understand. Most of my family members thought it was wonderful that I was willing to do this.

I did have a few critics. People would ask, “Why do you want to do that? or “What the heck are you thinking?”  One person even said, “What are you trying for, a golden ticket to heaven?” I learned I just had to ignore these people.

The surgery was set for September 2015. In August, Vicki suffered a mild heart attack which delayed the surgery so her heart could get stronger. Before she could make it to surgery, on November 8th, Vicki was rushed to the ER and died the next day.

The moment I heard Vicki passed, I determined to donate my kidney in honor of her. It’s what she would want me to do after all the testing and being so close. I knew in my heart I had to do this.

I called the transplant team and told them I was still going to donate. Due to my work, the surgery had to wait until spring 2016.

During this time, I was really mad at God. I had so many questions. I didn't understand why. We were so close. Why?

That’s when I received a message from Vicki’s sister Deb, a woman very close to God. She had been asking the same questions, “Why? Why not Vicki?” God told her he knew Vicki was not going to be here much longer and that my kidney would not have extended Vicki’s life. He said he has the perfect person chosen for my kidney. That message gave me chills and made me cry. I had mixed emotions; happy for an answer, sad Vicki was gone.

In March 2016, I talked again with transplant team and the surgery date was set for April 6th. The surgery went as planned and was a success. The next day, on April 7th, I met Jim and Laurie Lamey. The first thing both of us said was “that is her/him”. We hugged and cried. It was so emotional, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

We talked for awhile. Jim telling me how bad his kidneys were and the life he didn’t have because of it and now he can have a life again. Tears kept flowing.

Laurie kept thanking me for saving her husband and giving them back their lives. It was overwhelming. Talking to the man that might have died, had I not donated. A complete stranger. I saved him. That feeling is like no other, very hard to explain. We will be forever friends. We changed each other’s lives. 

All of this makes you really think about life and how short it is. It has changed my life forever in ways I can’t explain. It has renewed my faith in God.

Everyone has the ability to save a life. I think everyone should consider organ donation. One organ donor can save eight lives. That’s eight humans. Live donations are great; better actually, but that might not be for every one. Do your research. If you have any questions the transplant team is wonderful and very supportive can answer any questions. Got questions they can’t answer? Pray.                                                                           

Vicki Knight, June 2016